Saying Goodbye
by Intense Stare
Summary: Hermione returns to the place she lost everything to say goodbye to the man who saved her life and gave her love. One-Shot. PWP. M just to be on the safe side.


**A/N - Okay, reading over this it seems slightly depressing but it's the best I can do right now. At least it's something right? I hope you enjoy this. I would like to say a special thanks to afarber. If you're reading this, well it's because of you I've written anything.**

**And all this belongs to J.K Rowling**

Saying Goodbye

From the view of Gryffindor tower, if one was looking out they would see a solitary figure walking towards the forbidden forest. This wasn't unusual under any circumstances, students were always sneaking out to the forest under the cover of nightfall for various activities. What was unusual about this sighting was that the figure walking was none other than war heroine Hermione Granger.

* * *

I shivered lightly under the layers of clothes I wore to protect me from the snow that was falling from the pitch black sky. I was trying to concentrate on the crunching sound my boots made with each step as they landed on the freshly fallen snow. My efforts so far were in vain, no matter how hard I tried to ignore them the memories were coming back.

Memories of what had happened last time I'd walked across these grounds. Memories of bright flashes, red and green, flying from every angle. Memories of watching both friend and foe plunge to the ground lifeless. Memories of the ground stained red with an never-ending flow of blood.

It had been exactly a year since I'd walked on this ground, exactly a year since Voldemort had fallen, exactly a year since I'd lost everything and more.

Of course not every one she had cared for was departed, though those who had managed to survive, where a shell of themselves.

Harry was a prime example. He had defeated the Dark Lord but at the price of losing Ginny. From what I'd heard, from by standers as Harry refused to talk about it, he'd finally had his opening to strike Voldemort but just as he was raising his wand a jolt of green was heading towards his red-headed love. He had a split second choice, to send a killing curse at the Dark Lord or a shield at Ginny.

Harry of course ended the war there and then by choosing the killing curse but he wasn't the same afterwards. I doubted he'd ever return to the bright boy I once knew so well. It had been weeks since I'd seen him and even longer than I'd seen him without a bottle of firewhisky in his hand.

The wizarding world would eventually heal, of that I was sure. The proof was clear as the new generation filled Hogwarts but was there any hope for the old one?

I honestly wasn't sure.

As I got closer to the clearing I was heading towards, other memories started to fill my mind. These memories worse than others because these were happy memories. Memories of what was and what could have been. Memories of warm loving hands caressing my body, smoothly brushing against my most sensitive spots.

I blinked rapidly, trying to clear the moisture that was filling up my eyes. These were the memories that I locked away in a vault inside my mind. I wasn't sure who had it worse, me or Harry.

I hadn't turned to the bottle yet but at least Harry wasn't the reason Ginny was gone, he, the one I had refused to think about for a year for fear of breaking down and not being able to repair myself, he had jumped in front of the jet of green light heading towards me.

He had sacrificed himself to save me.

I closed my eyes for a minute, refusing to let the tears fall. If I let go know I wouldn't be able to make the rest of the journey that I knew I had to.

I took a, well needed, deep breathe and continued to move my feet, slowly, one after the other.

I made it finally to the clearing, it wasn't far in to the forest but yet it wasn't easy to stumble in on. This place held my happiest memory and saddest memory. A cruel joke on fate's behalf.

Even though the small circular clearing was surrounded by trees, none of the branches covered the view of the night sky, lightly sprinkled with stars.

I pulled my gloves of dropping them on to the ground. Not caring about the bitter cold. I lightly brushed my hands over the waist high plants, the place hadn't changed much.

I allowed the memories that I had locked away for so long break free. I could almost feel the sensation of his lips covering every inch of my body, bringing me pleasure that I had never even thought possible, he had brought me all that pleasure before even thinking of himself.

I remembered his fingers trailing downwards, giving me pleasure that no schoolboy hands would ever be capable of doing.

It was a mystery to me still how I managed to give my virginity to none other than Severus Snape but I didn't regret it.

I still remembered every little detail, he had laid me down on this very grass, though it had been Spring then. I remember the sharp pain as he entered me, with surprising gentleness. Staying still until I had relaxed enough to gain pleasure from the experience.

Most of all I remembered my release combined with his. I remembered our guttural moans combining together as he released his seed into me.

I felt my jeans become wet, sometime during my encounter with my memories I had dropped to my knees, the snow was starting to make my clothes damp. The cold of the snow didn't bother me. It didn't feel like I was numb though, just I was hurting more elsewhere. A hurt that couldn't be as easily fixed with a change of clothes or a shower.

After my first occurrence with Severus, there were many more. I would have said the luck was with us as we never got caught but if luck was really with us, well there would still be an us.

During our few moths together I slowly fell in love with the bat of the dungeons and I was sure he felt the same.

I felt the familiar, unpleasant tug of my heartstrings as I remembered that I had never said those three faithful words to him. I love you. Words the maybe, somehow would have changed everything.

Before I could stand, another memory made its way to the fore front of my mind. It was my worst memory, the thing I was sure to see if I ever again came in contact with a dementor. I wasn't strong enough to lock it back up.

This memory had taken place this day last year. It had taken place in this clearing. Severus had taken me here to keep me safe, I remembered being angry thinking he thought me incapable of fighting, it seemed so stupid now. Bellatrix had appeared from behind me. Taking an unusual approach for her, she didn't taunt him about knowing the he was unfaithful to her Lord, or mention anything along the lines of 'mud blood slut' like I was expecting in that first millisecond that I had saw her.

No, Bellatrix had learned by now it seemed, that it was more effective to act than taunt. It took her only a few seconds to send the faithful green light my way. It took Severus even less time to push me out of the way, his instincts expert from years of being a spy.

I didn't have time to blink before he had fallen to the ground, the lights gone from his eyes. I reacted faster than I thought possible, before Bellatrix even had the chance to cackle I had muttered the words the she had used seconds previous. She fell to the ground but I felt no satisfaction in her death.

I laid beside my Severus until we were found and he was taken away from me.

During my time reminiscing my worst memory, I had fallen even lower, I was now laying on the snow covered ground, my arms holding myself together. Ironically similar to that faithful night a year ago, except now I was alone.

As the tears that I had kept restrained for a year, came rushing, relentlessly down my face, I kept seeing quick flashes of memories. Stolen moments in hidden corners, quick kisses and looks shared. It was unbearable. The pain was drumming in my chest, adamant not to be removed.

I lay on the ground for an unknown length of time, crying, shaking and hurting. The cold didn't bother me it was a nice distraction, though it only worked for brief periods of time.

I slowly got to my knees and from there I stood up. My clothes were drenched but I felt better than I had in a long time. I grabbed a branch of the nearest tree and broke it off. I removed my wand from my pocket.

With a quick swish, the branch was replaced with a bouquet of white roses. I left them at the entrance of the clearing as I was leaving.

* * *

As Hermione left the clearing, a greasy haired, hook-nosed man was smiling down from above. He was glad that his Hermione was finally starting to heal. He was glad that she was finally on the road to recovery. Severus hoped she would someday move on after all, his Hermione deserved to be happy.

**Please Review and let me know what you think.**

**Zoey x**


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